Pregnancy, Estrogen, and Women Q & A !!

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.

Q : I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q : What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.

Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?

Q : My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.

Q : Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labour?
A: Not unless the word 'alimony' means anything to you.

Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.

Q : Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

Q : Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.


'ESTROGEN ISSUES' 9 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE 'ESTROGEN ISSUES' :

1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.
3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
5. You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says: 'How's my driving- call 1- 800-____.
6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.
7. Everyone seems to have just landed here from 'outer space.'
8. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.
9. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.

TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND :

10. Cats' facial expressions.
9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors.
8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds.
7. Fat clothes.
6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time.
5. The difference between beige, ecru, cream, off-white, and eggshell.
4. Cutting your hair to make it grow.
3. Eyelash curlers.
2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.

AND, the Number One thing only women understand:

1. OTHER WOMEN

A fall 'must have':

Pumpkin-Chocolate chip Muffins !!

I'm baking my second batch today of these muffins. I have two friends that bake ALL the time, and I call them my "fat friends" (you know who you are!! ;) ). Because every time I'm visiting, they are feeding me homebaked goods and they are HUGE contributors to the flabby belly of mine!! (btw--they are not fat, its me that's getting fat because of them!!) One of those two introduced me to these a couple years back, and I cannot go without them now. These muffins have quite the following ... several of my friends now make these too. I plan on sharing the batch I'm making today, otherwise, they will all end up landing somewhere around my waistline! I'd like to share this very yummy recipe for those of you who would like to join me in overeating these scrumptious muffins every fall too!!

Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Muffins

1 2/3 cup Flour

1 cup Sugar

1 tsp Pumpkin Pie Spice

1 tsp Cinnamon

1 tsp Baking Soda

1/4 tsp Baking Powder

1/4 tsp Salt

Mix together

2 Eggs

1 cup canned Pumpkin

1/2 cup melted Butter

Mix together then add to dry ingredients

Add 1 cup Chocolate Chips

Bake at 350 for 20-25 minutes.

THEN ENJOY!!!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MADDY-CAKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here she is at her first birthday:

And here she is at 5 years old!!! (even decorated her own cake!)

I needed a moment to mommy brag !!!!!

Boobs must be pretty important in this society....

An entire month dedicated to breast cancer awareness?! Donating to research, reminding ladies to do their monthly exams and get their," boobs smooshed" (mammograms), and raising awareness that this is happening to more and more women every year. Pink is symbolizing these women, and the slogans are many!! I have found EVERYTHING PINK, from candy wrappers, to laundry detergent, bracelets, to hair extensions! It really IS great isn't it?!
BUT..... why is it that this particular cancer is soooooo popular? I have not seen ONE store without some sort of pink something for the month of October. WHY is it that I have yet to see an entire month dedicated to colon cancer, which is very rampant among men and women? (you already know what color that ribbon/month would be!) OR... why is there not a month and a popular attention for prostate cancer? I'm thinking the women are really getting some unfair attention here. Is it the fact that breasts are sacred among society?! EVERYONE can get behind, "saving the Ta-ta's", (as I read on one shirt recently), but no one wants to ask the men if they've gotten their prostate checked?

SO, I hereby declare a day for the men out there! Today I'm going ," Blue for the Balls" !
I'm thinking of some slogans now..... how about "have you coughed lately?" I think we should, hear it for the boys!! Let's see some support for our men and their issues and strap on a blue ribbon. We should remind them all not to be testey and see their doctor every year too! I think we should print up some shirts encouraging them, "Don't be nuts! Get 'em checked!"

I think we can do this.... I think we can spread the attention to other parts of the anatomy.....

OR....

are BOOBS just that much more important????!!!!!!!





(I apologize in advance to my father, who reads this blog!!)

Shades of Pink from my Garden...

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month....

In honor, I'm going PINK for the week!!

I got my MAMMOGRAM done.... have you????!!!!!

GO DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm registered, and plan to VOTE.... you???

Look who's STOKED to be eating again!!!

My little food monster is back!! (Still have some diarrhea, will for about a month) . But the doctor says, after his checkup on Monday, that he needs to gain at least a pound back. He lost a pound and a half, so one pound will put him back at a healthy weight. So those of you that know Gray, know that this shouldn't be a problem for him!!! He also has seen the Naturopath whose working on him too, so his health should be up and running soon!

**So WHAT was the story, and WHAT happened? ..... here it is, as short as possible..... ( warning... this is very disgusting stuff!! Don't eat while reading!)

Friday, the 19th, Gray began to have diarrhea. Saturday the 20th, he developed a fever. Sunday the 21st, in the afternoon, I called the nurse at our pediatricians office because he had the WORST diaper rash I had ever seen because of the constant diarrhea, and the diaper creams I had weren't working, so I was thinking possibly a yeast rash. At this point I really had thought at first he was teething, or just a little flu bug. The first clue I had is that the nurse was concerned about his hydration, and that he had an awfully high fever for it to be accompanied by diarrhea. We got him pedialyte, and juice, and new cream for his bottom, when about an hour or two later, upon him getting up from his nap, I opened a HORRIFIC diaper! In his diaper was blood, and chunks of flesh, obvious, internal flesh mixed with a mucous green sludge!! I ran to call the nurse back who immediately said to put the diaper in a ziploc and get him to urgent care. I was trying not to panic, and kinda resolved myself to thinking, he had just developed hemorrhoids that caused some blood, and it was not as big of a deal as I had initially thought. This just shows its time for an anti-diearrheal medicine. I honestly thought that was what we were going to urgent care for. At 5:30 I arrived at the Urgent Care center. ( urgent care is for those that need a doctor after hours, but are not necessarily in an emergency).
All the waiting begins!!!!!!!!!! We finally get seen, the Doc opens the diaper, and urgently says, "This is infectious diarrhea!" I have NO idea what he is talking about as he quickly is swabbing and sampling, and getting nurses. The nurses come back telling me they need blood drawn, and blood cultures, and I'm standing there is shock, asking what on earth is going on? I ask the Doc, " Are we talking rotovirus, or what are you saying here? " He starts in, " Where have you eaten this week, been around any farm animals, out of country, what pets do you have?!" This is a bacterial infection, we have to make sure its not in his bloodstream. A couple of hours later, and several horrible blood draws, he determines that Grayson is dehydrated, they can't get enough blood from him, and its time to go to the emergency room... it is now 9:30pm. I ask what he's getting at here, and he explains that Grayson needs IV fluids, we have to check his kidneys, and he needs to be admitted to the hospital. Sending me to the ER is the fastest way for all that to happen, he has called ahead and they are ready for us!
WOW!! I really thought we were coming in for the flu and some rash cream!!
We wait hours in the ER only for some idiot doctor who looked 14, to finally come and tell us, "look, I've seen worse in kids who are dehydrated, we got some fluid down him orally, go home and see your pediatrician tomorrow." I argued and said, "Look at the diapers, (which at this point I know have at least 10 from the time we had arrived), the Doc in Urgent care said he needed to be admitted, and he's no longer eating as of this morning, and didn't the doctor sent me with paperwork on his instructions of what should happen next!"
So he doesn't even open the diapers, and just says, " kids get all types of diarrhea, and you'll just have to wait for the cultures to come back, and keep a lot of fluids down him"
Zach and I walked away from that totally confused. Trying to relax from what the first doctor said, and think, well maybe this young guy just had a fresh look at it, and we'll see or Doc in the morning. But I will tell you, down in my gut, I did NOT have a good feeling! We got home at 1:30a.m.
Monday Sept. 21st, at 9:00 a.m., I am rushing Grayson down to our pediatrician's office, throwing Maddy off to a friends as quickly as I could, I knew Grayson's state was NOT good!! He projectile vomited his morning bottle, and that was the only thing he had taken since early Sunday. I knew we would be admitted to the hospital, and the first Doctor was right. Sure enough my pediatrician took one look at him, and looked me in the eye, and she said, " you know ,don't you?" "Yes I do, I'm ready", I respond. "They'll be waiting for you at the front desk of the hospital lobby, and I'll make sure they get you a very nice room with a view!". Gray and I take a very long walk, across a skybridge and down to the hospital lobby, and we get admitted to the pediatric ward at about 10a.m. , and we do have a lovely room with a view of the river. What a surreal and out of body experience that was! Zach left work to join us, and all the family got phonecalls. Getting an IV line in took 2 hours, and 2 teams of different nurses, finally resulting in the pediatric educator coming in and finally getting a vein. The poor kid was THAT dehydrated. A nurse had escorted me down the hall to wait in a room where I couldn't hear Grayson screaming anymore! I couldn't take it anymore, and my nerves were fried!
Thus begins my almost 96 hours of hospital life ! I never left the hospital, and I only left site of that room twice! Once to walk down to the cafe for breakfast, and once for a coffee from the same cafe. Most of the time we were waiting, waiting to see what the lab results were, waiting to see the doctor again, waiting for food or a visitor, waiting to see if the fluids worked, waiting to see if the diarrhea slowed down, waiting to see how much blood was in the next diaper. I hardly slept, which obviously a hospital is not the place to do that anyhow! Grayson's kidneys did just fine! Basically we just got him in there in the nick of time, we were treading on VERY dangerous water! And my Pediatrician was very upset that the second Doc sent us home--- we should have NEVER been sent away with a baby in that condition!! She was very scared for Gray when she saw him in her office and thought he could have already been in HUS (a syndrome usually linked with e. coli that basically produces kidney failure). He did not get that far, and he held steady through the week. He produced about 3 diarrhea diapers an hour, and when I asked," he has had NO food for more than 24 hours, why does he still have diarrhea?" Well the answer is quite horrific... " its the lining of his colon..... the bacteria has attacked and his colon is shedding off, it will rebuild itself in time!" So all the sludge and slime, was just the insides of my baby---GREAT--- NO PROBLEM---- !!! "So what drugs will you be putting me on while we're in the hospital??!!"

Tuesday, Sept. 23rd at 9:00 p.m. the culture is back-- Its Salmonella Poisoning! No other treatment can be done, antibiotics will make the gut bleed more, so we wait it out with fluids. Now the questioning and debating begins....where did he get this, what did I do wrong, who did it, who passed it to him... egg, meat, milk, the snake, Maddy, a random shopping cart, a farm we visited last week???!!! There is NO answer, I've been over it, and over it, with 2 doctors, several nurses, internet research, and the County public health. ( who called to let us know we are at risk of starting an epidemic...greeeeaaaat, Thanks!!)
As of Thursday, the 25th at 2:00, he was not going home, as of 6:00, he could go home!! So we anxiously packed up and with hesitation we checked out!! The peace that my little guy felt was so obvious as I peeked at him in the backseat in his carseat. He was soooo happy to be going home!! He was just stoked when we got home... he went right for his toys, pounded the dogs back, chattered wildly, and that night in his own crib, slept hard!!
He just healed in record time on Friday, his diarrhea was down to just a few a day, instead of per hour! And his appetite increased. I had to carefully monitor his intake and outgo, and he stayed on a special diet , but did just awesome!!
Over the weekend, I broke down emotionally on Saturday, then rested, then on Sunday, tried to act like a normal family again.
A HUGE THANK YOU to all who sent love and prayers, and support, and food, and magazines, and chocolate and flowers. and babysitting for Maddy!!! There are these times that as they say, "when the chips are down", you know who really loves you and cares for you, and I CANNOT express how much that means, and with out you we would NOT have made it!!!!!!
Thank you Lord, for the people who pass on your blessings!!