Ok, so these are really silly. You too, probably have gotten these in an email like I did. I thought why not, something light every once in a while is good!

12 Reasons to Smile > >

Marriage changes passion. > Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with > "Guess" on it.So I said," Implants?" She hit me.

How come we choose from just two people to run for president and over fifty for Miss America ? >

A good friend will come and bail you out of > jail...but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, > "Wow...that was fun!"

I signed up for an exercise class and was told > to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place! >

When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I just, "chunky dunk."

Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.

Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up in our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over?

Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in prison?

Wouldn't you know it... Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever!

Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court > when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed outside?

Bumper sticker of the year: "If you can read this,thank a teacher -and, since it's in English, thank a soldier"

And remember: life is like a roll of toilet paper. > The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

FINALLY back......
WHEW!!! What a Christmas rush! Am I the only one that feels, that you prepare, and prepare, and then in this whirlwind, its all over? It was a good whirlwind, but boy, it left me really sick! Lack of sleep, tons of junkfood (btw why does everyone celebrate holidays with food that's bad for you? pies, cakes, cookies, frosting, candy, drinks, chips and dips, and hams, and gravies...ughhhhh I've eaten enough fat and sugar these last 2 weeks to last all of 2007~funny, we don't show up with carrots and say,"Dig in, and Merry Christmas!"), not much sleep, and a tad bit of stress. That combination, plus let's get everyone together in warm houses and hug...has let the virus bugs fly here in my house, and recovery has been rough! I'm still feeling like, OK, that's it, it's over, and now the New Year? And the next party and the next big shopping sale, then the Valentine's day rush, which before it's even Feb. 14th we'll be pressured to decorate and be ready for Easter......wow.....Maybe my last 3 days in bed were good, just to get a breather!
I've been down and out for 3 days and I'm actually excited to go to Albertson's and get some groceries today!:) Madalyne has taken care of me incredibly! Luckily for me, being that I got so sick right after Christmas, she had plenty of new toys to occupy her time! She's been so cute though, playing "doctor" for mommy! She came to the bed yesterday afternoon and brought a whole collection of Disney Princess jewelry and pretend makeup, as "medicine" that was gonna make me better! I tell you this, I don't care HOW sick anyone would've been at that moment, YOU would have been better! I was just cracking up......each little toy had a sound effect when she "used it on me". Sound effects were incredible and she kept saying," Don't laugh, I'm fixing you!" I had to put my hand over my mouth to keep her from seeing my giggle, I can not put here in black & white the sounds coming out of that kid. She then adorned me with all the jewelry pieces....so a plastic blue pinky ring, one large clip on earring, 2 beaded necklaces and 8 bracelets later, I'm all better!!!

Hello!
After the Holiday rush, I need one more day here to clean up my house!
I have several things to talk about, and lots of cute Christmas pictures to share....be back soon!

Meet Mark.....He desperately needs your prayers!

This young man and his family need our love and support right now. This is Darlene's son, I mentioned a couple of days ago that he was in a serious car accident. So serious, that is a miracle that he is alive right now! He is in the ICU still internally bleeding, learning the extent of injuries, and more than miserable. His family is by his side still unable to comprehend the devastation that is happening. He goes in for more surgery soon, and they still can't even get to the broken back! The details are ugly, the pain emotionally, physically, and spiritually is the kind that makes every inch of us cry out to our Maker WHY WHY WHY!!! I have felt so heavy about this tragedy for many reasons. One I do know is to pray, and two,support Darlene in any way I can. This woman is so incredible that it pains me to my utter core that she is going through this. (and her family!) She encourages me, loves on me, and accepts me, she has become a mentor to me and I appreciate her. I also believe she needs our support because she lives a daily battle with Lupus. Please pray for some miracles here- this family could use some, and God knows, deserves them!

Details and updates are on Darlenes blog at: www.dailydotes.blogspot.com

This letter was emailed to me by my aunt! I cracked up, hope you do too!

Dear Santa,

I've been a good mom all year. I've fed, cleaned and cuddled my children on demand, visited the doctor's office more than my doctor, sold sixty-two cases of candy bars to raise money to plant a shade tree on the school playground. I was hoping you could spread my list out over several Christmases, since I had to write this letter with my son's red crayon, on the back of a receipt in the laundry room between cycles, and who knows when I'll find anymore free time in the next 18 years.

Here are my Christmas wishes:I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache (in any color, except purple, which I already have) and arms that don't hurt or flap in the breeze; but are strong enough to pull my screaming child out of the candy aisle in the grocery store.I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the seventh month of my last pregnancy.

If you're hauling big ticket items this year I'd like fingerprint resistant windows and a radio that only plays adult music; a television that doesn't broadcast any programs containing talking animals; and a refrigerator with a secret compartment behind the crisper where I can hide to talk on the phone.

On the practical side, I could use a talking doll that says, "Yes, Mommy" to boost my parental confidence, along with two kids who don't fight and three pairs of jeans that will zip all the way up without the use of power tools.

I could also use a recording of Tibetan monks chanting "Don't eat in the living room" and "Take your hands off your brother," because my voice seems to be just out of my children's hearing range and can only be heard by the dog.

If it's too late to find any of these products, I'd settle for enough time to brush my teeth and comb my hair in the same morning, or the luxury of eating food warmer than room temperature without it being served in a Styrofoam container.

If you don't mind, I could also use a few Christmas miracles to brighten the holiday season. Would it be too much trouble to declare ketchup a vegetable? It will clear my conscience immensely. It would be helpful if you could coerce my children to help around the house without demanding payment as if they were the bosses of an organized crime family.

Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is ringing and my son saw my feet under the laundry room door. I think he wants his crayon back.Have a safe trip and remember to leave your wet boots by the door and come in and dry off so you don't catch cold.Help yourself to cookies on the table but don't eat too many or leave crumbs on the carpet.

Yours Always, MOM...!

P.S. One more thing...you can cancel all my requests if you can keep my children young enough to believe in Santa.